Not a fan of MRI....

MRI'S are hard. I am definitely not a fan. I have been having numbness in my arms for over five years. Mostly when I lay down or use my hand for long periods of time. My Dr insists that I have carpal tunnel and has had me wearing wrist braces....which have done nothing by the way.....well, when the numbness moved to my left foot it has been driving me crazy. I just cannot live with it anymore. My brother Jeremy keeps telling me....get a MRI....he had some numbness problems that was fix with neck surgery and we seemed to have similar symptoms.  I insisted to my Dr that I get a MRI and he ordered 3 of them on my spine. Yay! Finally gonna get some answers. 

I set up the appointment and learned that I would be in the tube for 3 hours. No problem...right. They asked me if I had claustrophobia (boy was I wrong). I said no...but I told them I do have anxiety.  They suggested I take a Valium and to come 1 hour early to the MRI and they would administer it to me before the procedure.

I show up to the appointment. I arrived an hour and a half early because I was getting somewhat anxious and wanted to give the Valium some time to work. I waited and waited. I asked the receptionist about the Valium and she said someone would get me to administer it. Fast forward an hour and 20 minutes later and someone finally came for me. She was running behind and she gave me the Valium and asked me to chew it so it would work faster. Yuck. Then....she wanted me just to come right back without waiting the hour for the medication to kick in. Ok...this was not good. 

She had me sit on the table and she put a IV in for the contrast. She was ready to go. I was sweating. My heart rate was thru the roof. I had no saliva in my mouth. I could hardly swallow or breathe.  She had me lay down on the table and put earphones on to cancel out the noise....and then she put my head in a vise and strapped a contraption over my neck and locked it down. This was not cool...not cool at all. I was freaking out! This was about 10 minutes after I took the valium. She told me not to worry because she could fit a 300 lb person in the tube and that I was gonna be fine. I was not so sure. I told her she needed to let me out and sit up for a minute because I was not ready. She reluctantly agreed and unstrapped me and let me sit up for a minute. She got me some water and I jumped off the table and walked around for a bit. Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that the music was not working so I did not have anything to listen to that might calm me down. After a few minutes of me freaking out she told me we had to get going because she was running behind. No worries about my problems I guess lets make this all about her. She strapped me down again and slid me in the tub. Man...it was tight in there. My shoulders were touching the sides of the tube and my face was about two inches from the top. I was freaking out. I could not move, swallow or hardly breathe. I was crying inside. She started the test. It was noisy even though my sense of hearing had been cut off with the earphones. I got about 2 minutes into the test before I started for reals crying and hyperventilating. There was no way on this earth I was going to last for 3 hours like this....NO WAY! I had to tell her to pull me out. I was not cool....I had gotten an F in MRI! The lady told me I would be an excellent candidate for a sedated MRI. I agreed with her....knock me out for it for sure!

I don't know....maybe if they had given me the valium an hour before the test things would have been different. Maybe if the music had been working it would have relaxed me. Maybe if I had some gum in the mouth it would have not been so dry. Maybe if I only had one test instead of 3 to do. All I know is that this was going to be one of the biggest challenges of my life to do. See the picture below...you can see the vise that they strapped my head in to....gives me the heebeejeebees just looking at it!

 I called my Dr and left a message with his assistant. I told them I needed to be sedated for the MRI and to have them call me and set it up. Well....he did not agree with that and wanted me to try again. He wanted me to go to Ogden to a open MRI and try there. It's not exactly close for me to go there. I did some research. Alta hospital has a thirty percent bigger tube then Riverton. They can fit a 400 pound man in theirs. I set up an appointment there and only scheduled one test. Only one hour long. If I did not make it thru this test I would insist on a IV sedation.

I started to practice for a MRI....sounds silly right...but I did. Avery found me a refrigerator box and we made a MRI tube. I would lay in it in the basement with earphones on and a fan blowing in the bottom. I would lay in it for a hour and just cry. I asked Kendall what was wrong with me....he said....well for starters your a laying in a box in the basement.....haha....he is so funny! This is serious. I didn't know what else to do.

 Well, I had really bad anxiety leading up to the test. I had to wait 2 weeks before I could even go and that just gave me a lot to stress to think about every night. I was not sleeping well and the thought of the MRI consumed me. Finally the day arrived. My Dr had told me to not take the valium but to instead take two of my anxiety medications two hours before the test. I did this. I went to my appointment pretty looped up.  The MRI tech was very awesome. I told him I was claustrophobic and that I had anxiety. He set me up to go in feet first and with no head vise. He also set me up with Pandora tunes to listen too. He also said he would wait to give me the IV until the middle of the test and then he would put the contrast in and then take it right back out. He was an angel....maybe it was because I was doped up...but guess what....I did it!

In other news...only 2 MRI's left to go!!! Gonna try to bust them both out on Monday. Wish me luck!

Homecoming....it's about time!

There are times in my life that I am a pretty big slacker.....Like today......I'm not proud of myself. You see Bingham's Homecoming dance was like 10 tens days ago and I am just now getting around to posting it.  I have been pretty busy lately... doing pretty much nothing because my knee hurts.  You can see why I could not find the time.

 

Anyways.  Cam....you remember Superman from a few posts back right??? Well, he asked Madi to the homecoming dance. Now, let me see if I can remember how he asked her......Oh yes....I recall now. He put a poster on the door that said "I'd Wheely Like Homecoming With You"! and he left a giant tire with it on the doorstep. In other news that tire is still on the side of the house....so if any of you need a giant, bald tire for any purpose...you just let me know and I can hook you up! I don't remember how she answered him back...it was weeks ago....but the important part was that she said yes.

 

Dress shopping was a little easier this time around! Hallelujah! She found a dress that she like at Roolee online. The only problem with the dress is that they did not have her size online but they did have it in the store....of course the store is in Logan Utah, but heck I was going to Preston kayaking anyways.....so I just picked it up....no biggie! I saved hours of my life not looking for a dress....it was a win, win for me, Yay!

 

SO, on the day of homecoming they went on the day date to the Aquarium. I think Madi has been there like 4 times. I have never.....I need to go check it out. I guess they saw some sea creatures....and turtles and stuff. I guess it was pretty fun......she is smiling in the picture.



 

I all sorts of lucked out when her friend Tallia came and braided her hair for the dance. (Phew, I usually have to attempt the braid about 20 times before I get....its fine....I guess its as good as you can do!)

They went to the Botanical Gardens for pictures.

What a bunch of cuties!

Hot boy right here....see that boutonniere....yeah....I made it!

Here's the whole gang.....

Nice selfie toilet shot!

To save my life, I cannot get this picture to rotate.....Ugh! Just turn your head side ways to look at it.

So the dance was at Bingham. After the dance they went to Simpson's house and watched the movie Split. Everybody had a good time.  Next up Bingham Ball......Stay tuned!

just a little near death experience....no biggie

Yesterday I almost died....and I'm pretty sure that everyone that was with me was laughing. Rude huh. Let me back peddle a little bit and give you the full story.

So...I'll just go on and admit it....I can't swim. My momma is afraid of water so naturally I was not allowed near it. I get it... if you can't save your kid you want to keep that danger away from them. I have tried to learn to swim....I more panic and sink....I am pretty unteachable at this point I'm my 40's.

Now on to my kayaking experience. I tandemed kayaked in Oahu.....on the ocean out to two different  islands. We sailed that baby amazingly and paddled up to the island and road the waves in like pros. I lived and did not crash. I kayaked around a lake...well maybe not all the way around... in northern Idaho at a family reunion.....I lived again and did not wreck. I canoed down the bear river in Idaho with Kendall a few weeks ago...no crashes and pretty calm water.  So I guess you can say I'm pretty much a pro when it comes to being a rider and not have to steer the boat.

So yesterday we went kayaking on the bear river. It's 350 miles long and my dad wanted us to experience the whole river. I am pretty sure that we kayaked that many miles yesterday. Let's just say I know I have arms....but I feel that I have arms today...and not in a good way....my arms are like....hey....what did you do to me yesterday!!!

Anyway, Aushlynn and her friend...that's a boy (who rates her in his top 5 bester kissers) took the only tandem kayak...you know where this leaves me right? All by myself....don't wanna be all by my self....anymore....sing it with me! So Shawn picked me a kayak...a orange sundolphin that you ride on top. No motor just Mindy power. I zipped up my life jacket half way....big mistake.

So they put my boat in the water....backwards.....and I get in. I get the instructions....just paddle up river....turn around and hang out and wait for the whole group to get in the water......right! So the reality was I was floating down the river backwards sidewayish to what I am pretty sure were class 5 rapids. The kayak wobbling back and forth ready to dump me at any moment.  I'll just let you take a minute to picture this. Ok...I said picture not laugh.  Through a miracle I was able to turn around. I don't know how....I just did. It was a Jesus take the wheel moment except I was holding on to my paddle. Now this was not the nice glassy water from a few weeks ago....this was a churning river and I was very much alone....even though Kendall and my dad promised to be right by me....I learned they are liars whilst on the river.

A kayak is so hard to keep straight. I am super inefficient when it comes to paddleing. I could probably take a gold medal for being the worst at it. It is so hard. Everybody made it look so easy but I was crying behind my Denver Broncos sunnies. I somehow managed to make it through the rapids while I was mostly pointed straight. It was 100 percent terrifying and awful...but kinda fun in a delusional twisted sort of way. Not lots of fun...but a terrifying rush. Maybe 2 percent fun 98 percent I'm never doing that again.

Well we get to a calm part of the water....thank the Lord and for some reason my dad wants us to wait for the rest of the group. He's like...kayak over her and hang out and wait for everybody. We all know that I don't kayak the boat....it kayaks me.  Easy peasy just turn the boat around and kayak up the river and wait with everybody. I had a bad feeling...I'm not gonna lie...I had a bad feeling the whole time I'd been out there.  I did get turned around but while trying to go up the river with every yelling paddle harder my boat flipped. I learned a few things. My dad lied about the river only being 4 feet deep. The water was over my head. I wished I would have zipped my life jacket up all the way and cinched the suckered tight. Kendall lied about saving me. My kayak was trying to drown me. Avery loves his mom.

So I went over. I drank a few gallons. The kayak was on my head. I have bionic woman strength when drowning and threw the boat 15 feet off me. Avery jumped in to rescue me and my life jacket had to hold us both up. It was fine. Kendall got my boat for me a half mile down the river that is impossible to walk in on the side. Way to many elevation changes.
I was salty Kendall didn't save me and Aushlynn started singing "He Sent His Son".  Avery also saved my floppy hat and water bottle but my Candy Cane Chapstick fell victim to the bear river. I gonna miss that cool slick stick for sure...it was a good chapstick.

Everybody thinks it's funny and wishes it was recorded. I do not think it's funny. I also learned that I do not swear right before I'm going to die...this is good.

I was super brave and got back in my boat. I even kayaked down a waterfall. My choices limited me on what I could do. I guess I could have had them send a life flight but I was gonna pull through.

Superman and Bart Simpson

So.....Madi and Sadey have some new friends. They invited Superman...aka...Cam Reeves and Bart Simpson...aka Parker Simpson...Over to watch a scary movie. Ok...first off...who even does that...invites people over to watch scary stuff....don't they know that scares some people. It's not even really the scary stuff that you watch in a movie....during the night you can dream up way scarier stuff than any movie shows....Scary is not my thing! It's just mean of them to do this...what if those boys peed there pants or screamed like little girls? They would have been so embarassed.  Ok....anyway.....Madi told me that they would just be downstairs and to send them down...they didn't want to have to open the door...now that would of been scary! I had my instructions. I meet those boys by the mail box. I said SUP...Superman....I then let them know that those girls were gonna try and scare them with a scary movie. RUDE! I gave them a rubber mouse to use to get even....I am super nice like that....Madi hates mice. She scared of them......all is fair in love.and war right??? Also...we sent Madi a snapchat so she knew they were there.....I thought it was super helpful for her....so she knew to be prepared for them to walk down...right?

So...they watched a movie called "Ouija" I am happy to report to you that Superman does not have Swands.....you know...sweaty hands.....this is good news...two thumbs up.......I have not heard if Bart Simpson does....I will keep you posted if I ever find out...Sadey doesn't tell me nothin! The kids survived the movie with only a few jumps...so I guess this is good news....I have no idea what they dreamed up last night though...hopefully they all had sweet dreams and no scary nonsense. Anyway....it was time for me to go to bed. I told everyone nighty night.... then received this snapchat......so nice to have two new friends....streak anyone?  I sent them a cool snap back....it did not keep a copy thought.

Madi got a good night hug.....sigh...maybe next time Chicka...

and just like that...done

And just like that....my years of being a missionary momma are coming to an end. I am not gonna lie......when I realized today that I won't have a missionary to write on Sunday I broke down and cried. What??? Seriously I have issues! I know! How did the last five years go by so quickly?
When Dyllon received his mission call and left I thought that my heart would shatter into a million pieces. I was reduced to a puddle of tears just thinking about him being gone. Time slowed down to a meer crawl and every day felt like a week. Some how I survived.
 Then Avery received his mission call and left 6 months before Dyllon returned home. I did not know how my heart could handle two precious sons serving. It was not quite as hard the second time...but it still broke my heart...the recovery was a little easier. Time seemed to resume at a normal pace.
Then Aushlynn received her mission call before Avery came home. Thru some miracle...Avery hurt his elbow again and had to return from his mission a few weeks early. We had 10 days together before Aushlynn left on her mission. Wow...how the last year and a half has flown by.
When I look back it seemed like it happened in a heartbeat. It seems like five weeks not five years. Oh my heart. I am not sure who I am if I'm not a missionary momma. It's just what I do, or I guess what I did. If you see me and I'm completely irrational please understand...I'm gonna need an adjustment period it seems.

I'm lying to myself....

I did not sleep well last night....surprise!! Well its not really a surprise it happens quite often to me. When I don't sleep my mind is racing a mile a minute....it goes places that I don't want it to go.  In fact I learned that I am lying to myself....I really am freaking out a little. Let me air my momma concerns that are on my mind.

I am stressed out about Peru...seriously someone needs to take the Internet away from me. Have you seen the pictures? 1) It's still raining...the rainy season last for 2 more weeks...does that mean the rain will stop then...no...nobody knows when it will stop. 2) Flooding.....the rain water has to go somewhere...it's pooling everywhere. 3) Nasty stuff in the flood waters...sewage.....poisonous reptiles that have been displaced. 4) Mosquitoes.....standing stagnate water...a breeding ground for the little suckers....Zika...Dengue.....5) Disease...none of this is healthy 6) Food and Clean water are hard to find...very expensive...people are going to start suffering. 7) she has a little food and water right now...how long will it last? 8) I worry she will be a target because she has some...desperate people do stupid things. 9) she is going to see suffering...breaks my heart....she will give away what she has and not have her needs met....how can you see suffering and not share what you have? 10) greedy government...the church relief effort brought in food to ease suffering...I have seen pictures of it for sale. The donated supplies are not getting to those who need it because of greed...this make me sad and angry. 11) not knowing...augh!!

My concerns go on and on.....someone please stop me because I am going to have an anxiety attack.

It's going to be fine...she has special protection...the armor of God with her...she is a missionary and wears a special tag bearing his name. She is hope for many people.

33 more days......

What a ride

What a ride our Peruvian princess is having out in Peru. Boring..not in the least. One thing for sure is her mission experience has been completely opposite of both of her brothers. Oh the stories and experiences that she will have to tell.

She is currently residing in Angamos...she has served here before. She is with a trio companionship with Hermana Pay and her companion. I am not sure of her name. She has now come full circle. Hermana Pay was her companion in the CCM during her missionary training. Looks like they may finish the mission together.....seems fitting. Aushlynn's cute little companion is headed home. She has been so sick and I guess the flooding is the straw that broke the camels back. I hope that she can heal up at home and come back and finish her mission later. What a trooper she has been.

Aushlynn was given the option of coming home or staying and finishing the last 35 days. She has chosen to stay. Wow....what a true disciple of Christ she has become. I am not sure I would have made the same decision.  She just feels that she needs to be there to help the people of Peru...she still has more to give. She has learned the meaning of Charity and she lives it. I am super proud of her decision and support her 100%. They are currently looking for a mini missionary to serve as her companion.  If and when the waters recede she will head back to Miraflores....it not to far away from where she is at.

Good news. They were able to go in yesterday and retrieve their belonging. I am grateful that she will have some clean clothes to wear. I am also grateful that she has her memory cards and mission momentos that she has picked up on her journey. I guess that was what I was most sad about her losing...but it is just stuff and we could have dealt with it...but so happy we don't have to.

People have asked how I'm doing. Well... surprisingly I have been pretty calm. I am generally a person who has anxiety but the Lord has blessed me for sure. Not to say I have not worried about her...but I have just not let it consume me. I know...it's a big surprise. I am coping quite well.

Peru is not out of the woods yet. The water has been receding...but there is more rain in the forcast. Thing could get worse before they get better. There is a shortage of clean water and food throughout the mission. There is still a chance they will pull the missionaries out and put them in different missions...if that is the case I am sure she will be headed home.

She is ready to roll up her sleeves and get dirty. I love her. I miss her. I pray always for her.

My heart is heavy...

This post is hard to write....Aush has been having a rough time out in the mission. Training was not the best experience she has had on the mission. It was difficult....we are grateful it is done. She was transfered last week to Miraflores to serve the last transfer of her mission with cute little Hermana Pinckard. Her poor companion has been sick...bless her heart, because of this missionary work has been hard. To top it all off the rains in Peru have been devastating.

Aushlynn is right in the center of the flooding. In fact today the river overflowed it's banks and flooded the city. This in turn caused Aush and her companion to abandon their apartment with the clothes on their backs. This breaks my heart. I have no idea if they can return for their belongings or if they will even be there if they are ever able to.  The poor girl is not even wearing her favorite dress.

They are currently staying with the Hermanas in Angamos..one of them is Hermana Pay that she was companions with in the CCM. They are watching the waters and praying that it won't reach this apartment. Food and fresh water are difficult to come by. Power is out everywhere. I guess you don't want the power with the lines so close to the flood waters...that would be tragic.

The missionaries spent some time today swimming in the flood waters and helping rescue people and children from their homes. It is so sad they have lost everything.

There has been talk of sending the missionaries affected to serve in Lima or sending some home. With only 36 days left to serve it might be an early homecoming for her. It's just talk...we will have to wait and see.

Really there is not much that we can do. We can pray for her. Done...every minute. I called and put her name in the temple and Elder Hills... and all the missionaries serving in the Piura Peru mission. I just got a voice mail because it is a Monday and a mommas gotta do what a mommas gotta do. We are holding a special fast for her tomorrow. Not just for her but for the missionaries and the people of Piura. This has been catastrophic for them. Aushlynns stuff is so easy for us to replace once she gets home, but for those who live there it is a different story. Please join us if you would like. It is something that we can do. I am praying that the ground will somehow turn thirsty and absorb the water. I am praying that the rains will cease so no more water is brought to the area. I am praying for safety.

Training in Progress.....

Time is blazin' by....this girl only has 77 days left in the mission field. That's only 6652800 seconds left....who wants to count with me?? 1 Mississippi....2 Mississippi....just kidding....that would take me 77 days to count! Here is what Hermana Brown had to say this week...

Hey Guys! 

Wow this week has been all sorts of emotions! On Monday night I was still with Hermana Ramos and we were pretty much freaking out. We didn’t sleep a wink lol. When we got to the mission home the next day I was pondering on how I felt the first day of my mission..... crazy to think that was so long ago. I feel like I just got here! Well I guess you have all seen pictures from President Rasmussen so yes I am with Hermana Araya! She is from Chile! I am content! I’m still a little nervous to have such a big responsibility but I am so ready for the challenge and most of all to work hard until the end!

Well I know you are all dying to know. My leg is getting a little better but with the heat and rain we are having here its having a hard time drying. It’s not keeping me from working which is good but it still hurts pretty bad. Okay so with the rain and the heat it is bringing out so many flies and mosquitos! ITS TERRIBLE!!! I woke up one morning with like 50 bites all over my back... I’m still trying to recover from that! I’m really nervous that I’m going to get dengue right before I leave!! I literally bathe in repellent daily but it doesn’t really help... it’s awful.

The heat here lately has been off the charts.... I’m so glad that for p-day today we went to Paita and to the beach! It was so nice to relax by the beach! I remembered sunscreen so I’m not completely burnt ha ha! We played soccer on the beach and also some volleyball. Then we ate at a restaurant right off the beach. THERE WAS A TON OF FLIES THOUGH. Eww. 

A Miracle that we saw this week is that my convert Jose that got baptized in January got his temple recommend and is attending the Trujillo temple on the 25th! I am super excited for him! He is progressing so fast in the gospel and I know he will be a great leader some day! 

Well a little about my daughter/comp! She is from Chile, Vina De Mar. She loves to sing and loves everything girly! She takes a lot of time to get ready ha ha. I just roll out of bed throw a dress on brush my hair and call it good lol. It’s too hot here to do stuff with my hair or my face! She is 21 years old. She HATES all bugs... she will suffer a little here lol. All and all she is super sweet and loves to learn new things! Also she knows english and wants to perfect it with me.... That will be cool. Although I have kind of forgotten a little bit ha ha. 

Well I love you all! Hope you all are safe back home! I miss you guys! 

Hermana Brown

Thru your faith.....you will be healed....

Not to many people know about my health problems...it's not something that I share with everyone. My issues that I have are more of a private Gethsemane for me. I am going to share some of them with you today because this last week I had a real ahh.....I finally get it moment. But in order for you to understand....I have to start from the beginning.

Rewind back to the spring of 2012. I started experiencing numbness is my hands. The numbness was something that would come and go. It was pretty annoying...so naturally I took to the Internet to diagnose myself. I determined that I probably had the starting of Carpal Tunnels syndrome and vowed that I was going to lay off playing words with friends...I was a little addicted as my kids had introduced me to it the prior Christmas. Coinsidently, it was around the same time that Dyllon received his mission call to serve in the Knoxville Tennessee Mission and was to leave August 1, 2012.

As the months went by the numbness was getting a little more frequent and would last a little bit longer each time. I really tried to lay off the game. I really only played with my Auntie Karol but we had many...ok....a lot of games open at a time. It seemed that she had the same addiction to the game as me...but really it is basically playing scrabble and making words... so really what was it hurting?

In the first part of July 2012 I started having numbness in my arms whenever I laid down to go to sleep. This was quite alarming for me as I have difficultly sleeping and the numbness compounded that issue. Every single time I laid down to sleep the numbness would come and so would the sleepless nights......as you can imagine I was becoming a cranky person from lack of sleep because I still needed to be up at the same time M-F when my littles came to daycare. I think that the only thing that held me together was the ability to sleep in on Saturdays and Sundays so I could get some rest.

About 10 days before Dyllon was to leave on his mission we went up to Preston to stay the weekend at my parents. We were going to the Preston Rodeo and also to Bear Lake because we had rented a boat to do a little tubing per Dyllon's request before he entered the MTC. We went to the Rodeo....I was fine....we had a great time. I tried to sleep that night but since I had numbness in my arms....insomnia and to top it off I was sleeping on a bed my parents got at a yard sale from Fred Flintstone....I guess it was all a little much for me. I woke up in the morning very upset. My arms, neck and face were completely numb....something was very wrong with me! I started crying. We were supposed to go boating today and I was ruining it. I went upstairs and we determined that I better go to the instacare in Logan. Before I left I was given a blessing by Kendall, my Dad and Dyllon. It was the first time the words...."thru your faith you will be healed" were heard by my ears.

At the instacare they evaluated me. I was told that I probably had a pinched nerve from the bed that I attempted sleep on.  He gave me a muscle relaxer, suggested that I see a chiropractor or maybe get a massage. He also recommend that I follow up with my primary care doctor.  I called and made an appointment for the next day to get a massage and we headed back to Preston to get the boys to go to the lake (the girls were at girls camp and we were sneaking around behind their backs). I was only able to ride in the boat as my arms were weak and achy from the numbness. I was going to get through this...I did not want to ruin any fun for Dyllon as he was leaving in just a few days. We returned back home and I got my massage...heaven.....I was feeling a little bit better.

On the day of Dyllon's mission farewell I was doing ok...in fact...in thought I rocked it! I did not cry once during his talk or during the entire meeting. This was a surprise for me as I over the last few months would just cry whenever I thought about my boy leaving for 2 years.  I had cried a lot...there is a song about birds leaving the nest....I could not even think about...let alone hear the song without being reduced to a puddle of tears. So yeah holding it together during the meeting was a huge deal. We had a little get together with friends and family. It was a great time to see everyone.

The night of Dyllon's mission farewell I took a turn for the worst. Everyone was sleeping....I was not. In fact I was having the same issues I did at my parents a week ago....numbness in my arm, neck and face and to top it off I could not breathe well and my blood pressure was thru the roof. I thought I was having a stroke. I woke up Kendall and he was really worried about me. We called the nurse line and they told me I need to get to the emergency room ASAP. Kendall woke up Dyllon and had him come assist him in giving me a blessing before we left for the ER. During the blessing it was the second time I heard...."thru your faith you will be healed", I was not a fan of this and simply wanted to hear you are healed...but that did not happen.  At the ER they did a bunch of tests...an EKG, a CT scan...I'm not sure what else....but everything was negative. They determined I was having a panic attack and was suffering from anxiety. Five hours later......they gave me a Lorazpan to calm me down and sent me home. The kids stayed home from school and watched my daycare for me the next day and I got some much needed rest.

Funny thing is I did not feel like I had anxiety. I thought that I was coping with my life quite well. It seemed weird to me that I would only have anxiety when I laid down to sleep....so I was not quite convinced I had a correct diagnosis. One thing for sure was I needed more sleep and needed to get my sleep patterns under control.

Right before Dyllon left on his mission I told him I wanted him to give me a blessing. In his Patriarchal blessing years prior... he was told that he had the gift of healing. Before he left I wanted to tap into that gift and have a little healing done for me. I did not tell him this...I just asked for a blessing. In my blessing by my missionary son....I was told for a third time...."thru your faith you will be healed". Oh my goodness....what was I missing. I had faith that I could be healed. I believed I could be healed right at that moment...so why was it not happening.....oh girl....I had so much more to learn.

Dropping Dyllon off at the MTC was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Basically I was liquid for the next few days...I would cry at just about anything. We had prepared Dyllon to leave...at least we did the best we could......but you know what....nobody ever told me that I needed to prepare myself....but as a note to future missionary moms....you need to prepare yourself...it is hard to have them go....it feels like a little part of you.....strike that....a big part of you is gone. I just don't even know how to tell you to prepare for it....there is no way to....at least not that I have found....I've been thru it three times. I guess all I can say is be prepared to be unprepared for it.

So I went to my Dr to get something to help me sleep. I had convinced myself that if I could just get some sleep that most of my issues would go away. It was not so easy to convince my Dr that. He wanted me to see a therapist. Oh boy was I ticked at him.....so he thought that I was crazy huh! I told him that was not going to happen.....he told me if I did not go he would not prescribe me my medications. I need my blood pressure medication...he was blackmailing me. I hated him and told him I would just find a new Dr. I really did not want to find a new Dr so I made another appointment with him....he did not waiver and told me the same thing the second appointment. Therapist or no medications. I left again very angry...but I made an appointment with a therapist. I had exactly one visit with the therapist. He agreed with me that I was just really tired and a missionary momma on top of that. I was having anxiety...but nothing that I really needed to be seen for.....take that Dr meanie!

So I saw my Dr again. He was glad I went but we explored other options for my numbness. I had ultrasounds on my heart, stress tests....I have worn braces on my arms for Carpal Tunnels.....nothing has really helped and I have never found out a reason for it. I have had massage therapy and also many sessions of chiropractic work done. Still I continue to have the numbness however it is not as often or as painful as it was.

Fast forward 5 years later. I have sent three kids missions. With the exception of 10 days.....I have had one or two missionaries serving for nearly 5 years. Each time one would leave I would have my anxiety ramp up and numbness would get worse. I have learned how to soothe myself but it still happening. I have had many blessings....each time hearing the same thing...."thru your faith you will be healed" I have yet to be "healed". I guess I am not to good with the faith part. I deal with numbness all the time.

So to my ahh...moment. Last week in Relief Society we had a lesson on facing our fears. The RS teacher had heard the same words in a blessing of hers. She responded I guess so...faith with out works is dead. I thought to myself...well I've done works. I have seen Dr's. I have tried to find out what was wrong with me. I have prayed everyday to be healed.....but right there at that moment I finally got it.....it has only taken me five years. I was not even listing to the words that have been spoken to me so many times....never changing...always the same....THRU YOUR FAITH....YOU WILL BE HEALED.  I think what it means is I don't need to worry about all the things that cause me anxiety. If I have faith that things will be okay...thy will be done.....their is absolutely no reason for me to have anxiety.  No reason for me to worry. It's not something I need to be doing. I just need faith....not worry. Worrying does nothing but cause me anxiety....it does absolutely nothing to help the situation I worry about....it only affects me. This numbness and anxiety will go away if I have faith that what Heavenly Father has in store for me and my family is best...his will not my will.

Sometimes I am slow....it's so simple......

and so it goes......

Well....Sunday before sacrament meeting was pretty awesome for me. I checked my phone and I had a message. I pulled it up and.....BAZINGA!!! I hit the jackpot....someone in Peru had sent me pictures of Aushlynn....I seriously love it when that happens. 

So we heard from Aushlynn on Monday......some good....some not so good....I think that she may be in some type of competition with her brother to see who can have more injuries. Turns out a pot of boiling water accidently got knocked over onto her thigh.....OWIES!! She had to go to the hospital to have her injury treated. Because of rainy weather it is not healing very well.....poor girl. We have sent her some supplies and she is being taken care of by the mission office. Hopefully it heals up quickly and causes her little pain. 

Also...it seems that they have been in singing "The Wise Man and the Foolish Man" in Peru because the rains have been tumblin' down over there. They are having really bad flooding but at least it's not blazing hot while it rains. Here is what she had to day for the week!

Hey Guys

I dropped my mini missionary off  in the morning at her house! It was super bittersweet to meet her family and to see where she lives! She lives in very humble circumstances! It was a good six weeks with her. I hope that she has a desire to serve a full-time mission when she turns 18. We have had ALOT of rain this past week and she has been worried about her house and family but everything was okay! The area is so bad right now with all of the rain we have been having. We really don’t have roads it’s all just dirt and well when dirt mixes with water it just makes a lot of mud. Woooo. We come back to our room soaked everyday... even though we had an umbrella! 

So don’t be alarmed but I had a little accident on Monday night and I got burned by boiling hot water. It burned my whole thigh. We went to the hospital Sunday afternoon because it was looking infected and hurting really bad. They gave me cream and pills and cleaned it out but its sooooo hot and humid here that it’s just not drying so I have no clue how it’s going to heal. I’ll keep you updated.

So today is transfers and well for my last two transfers of the mission I am training! I’m nervous to train but excited to for the opportunity. There are three Hermanas coming in. One from Chile and two from the US. Not sure who my companion will be because we don’t pick them up until Wednesday.

Also it sounds like Elder hill is also training. I found this out this morning! That will be cool to see him! I will also see him at 5 weeks! When we do follow up training with our companions.

Hermana Ramos is also training so she is staying the day/night with me until tomorrow when we get our companions! It’s so fun to be with her again! She was definitely one of my favorite companions! 

Bad news though.... my new district leader is a Patriots fan.... I think we are going to have a lot of disagreements! Ha ha I think my whole mission I’ve been learning patience for this moment ha ha no.

If I had to pick a favorite moment from this week it would be on Sunday, during a lesson with our investigator Brittney. She began telling us about very severe things she has gone through in her life, and after she really opened up, we asked "How have you found peace after going through all of these things?" And she said, 

"I found peace when I found forgiveness for myself, and others. When I knew that God loved me, I knew that I could love who I was becoming."

I'm telling you, these investigators that the Lord is working with are incredible. It always becomes a fun game when you are in the middle of a lesson trying to keep yourself together -- but keeping yourself together is just not a Aushlynn thing, so I just act casual that tears are pouring out of my eyes, and move on. :-)

What Brittney said, really struck a chord with me, that true peace comes from forgiveness, of ourselves and of others. I think that's why the Atonement is so essential, because without it, there is no forgiveness, there is no peace. There really is no need to hang on to anything because all it really does is hurt us in the end. True peace comes when we know that God loves us, and because he loves us we can love, and we can forgive, too. Maybe, we can all be a little more like Brittney this week.

Well that’s pretty much it for the week! Wish me luck in training!

Love

Hermana Brown

                       

Aush and her mini missionary and members in her ward.

Isn't she the cutest?

 My Sunday pictures...yay!

 Nice...

 The flooding in her area.

 Ok....you know how we hate road construction? Well we need to be super grateful for it. Our roads have drainage systems built in so we do not have these issues.

Aush is a Missionary Momma now.....here is her daughter Herman Donoso....can't wait to here about her.

New missionaries and the trainers.

yes...yes....a thousand times yes!

You remember a few posts back when I told you that I was asked to the big Valentines day dance. Well to refresh you memories I was asked by the hottest guy in the tri-stake area! Don't be jealous...I am sure a hot guy would ask you to if you made them...haha! 

Anyways...I got around to answering him. It was kinda hard as I am always at home and if I ever leave the house he wants to come with me. I had a few ideas of how to deliver it. I thought of putting it in his clerks office...but he did not have meetings this week. I thought about having the bishop call him up in sacrament....this would be funny but I am sure if I did this he would never ask me again. I decided on help from the neighbors.  I was able to get the stuff together and ran it across the street while he was getting gas for Madi at Costco. Jeff and Kim agreed to run it back across the street and doorbell ditch for me when he got back. Jeff also made sure Kim knew he still had until Payton was in high school before he needed to do something like this....haha! 

So when Kendall got home I texted her and told her he was ready.....she came a few minutes later and dropped it on the doorstep.....rang the bell 10 or so times and ran away....she told me that it was fun and she felt like she was in high school..:0)! Well to bad Kendall had just ran down stairs to put the Ritz away even though I told him to leave them on the counter. Sigh.....when he came upstairs he asked who was here....me and Dyllon both played dumb....I don't know go check........this is what he found!

I just wonder what he has planned for our day date!

the Mike and Ike....

Folks....I think we have been scammed by the following individual.....not that I am complaining or anything.   But think about it....should we really bring relying on rodents to predict our weather? I went outside today and it was beautiful! My phone thermometer says that it is 56 degrees. Almost time for us Utahans to break out our shorts and flip flops!

Here is a picture of my front yard. Nearly all the snow is melted. I am predicting and early spring. You are welcome everybody. It was so nice that me and Kendall took a walk on the Mike and Ike. What is the Mike and Ike you might ask? The Mike and Ike is the two roads that are to the side of our house on 3210 west. Our kids named them the Mike and Ike when they were little because of their shape.. They would ask if they could ride their bike's around the  Mike and Ike....this was way back when they would actually ask if they could do something.  Anyway this part of the neighborhood will always be the Mike and Ike to Me!

Something to talk about....

So I got a call last Tuesday. It was Jeff Bullock calling....I thought it was about Cub Scouts.....boy was I wrong. He asked if I could speak in Sacrament meeting the next Sunday. I was in a pickle...he knew it...I knew it. I had just had him fill in for the Cub Master the week before...I owed him and I am sure he knew it. I agreed to talk. Now I can't trust calls from across the street or to the left side of me...haha...I am almost surrounded. I sulked about for a few days. You see talking in church is one of my top least favorite things on this earth. 1st: Haunted Houses 2nd: Root Canals 3rd: Talking in Church 4th: Onions and 5th: Doing Dishes.

I was asked to speak about: How Does Serving Others Bring Us Joy....at least that is what I ran with. Kendall was giving me tons of unsolicited advice. I am sure he was super jealous it was me speaking and not him. I listened to his advice and then did my own thing. I am super unteachable when it comes to things like this. I did a little bit of research each day and on Friday during nap time I sat down to write my talk. Of course Kendall came home early to work from home.....for some reason Dyllon came home early and then two of my Littles were dropped off late and I need to get them a late lunch and get them to nap time. Kendall and Dyllon wanted to talk sports and such....so much for a quiet time to work on my talk! Such is my luck....

Anyway...I was able to come up with a little something to talk about in church. I was super nervous and I am sure I dropped 5 lbs during my talk from shaking up there. I started out with....I was cool until Kai said Amen.... I started out with some laughs.  I adlibed here and there and well.....I think it turned out okay. Well anyway...I though I would post it here because bishop promised me I dont have to speak for five years and I though my posterity would appreciate it. I am currently dreading the year 2022. Here is what I came up with to talk about, hope you like it!

Good Morning Brothers and Sisters. My name is Mindy Brown for those of you that do not know me. My family has lived in the ward for about 16 years.  In my Patriarchal blessing it tells me that I will live in many stakes and branches, that statement has come true just by living in our home.  We have been a part of  3 stakes just by the area growing and the stakes splitting…..not too sure about the whole branches thing though….but I guess it could happen.  Look at Marty White.

I currently serve as the Cub Committee Chair. I am married to Kendall Brown…you see him roaming during sacrament meeting counting all of you.  We have 4 kids….Dyllon….who was kicked out of this ward and now attends the singles ward. He is a student at UofU. Avery is studying  Diesel Technology down at USU eastern.  Aushlynn is currently serving a mission in the Piura Peru Mission.  She will be home on May 3rd  in 93 days, 22hours and 23 minutes  I don’t keep track of the seconds….I mean I’m not some crazy missionary mom.  We’ll probably go and pick her up at the airport…or she could take an Uber or Tracks….well decide in May…it’s not a big deal. Just kidding…I will probably camp out at the airport on the 2nd of May! Madison is our caboose…she is also our boss.  She is a Jr at Bingham and is running track.

Today I was asked to speak on how does serving others bring us joy?  Love one another; as I have loved you. These words were spoken by Jesus just hours before his great atoning sacrifice. Jesus not only taught us to love, but he also lived what he taught. Throughout his ministry, Jesus “went about doing good” and “entreated all to follow His example.”4 He taught, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.”

President Thomas S. Monson, who has understood and lived the admonition to love, said: “I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and … lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives.”

True Christ like service is selfless and focuses on others. One woman who took care of her invalid husband explained, “Don’t think of your task as a burden; think of it as an opportunity to learn what love really is.”7 I can see this statement is true by watching my father in law care for his sweet wife.  Kendall’s parents are advancing in age and are in there mid 80’s.  Kendall Mother has developed early onset of  Alzheimer’s.  His dad patiently takes care of her every need.  No matter how many times she asks the same thing or tells the same story he responds as if it is the first time that he is hearing it. What an amazing example of patience, love and service.

Oftentimes we are like the young merchant from Boston, who in 1849, as the story goes, was caught up in the fervor of the California gold rush. He sold all of his possessions to seek his fortune in the California rivers, which he was told were filled with gold nuggets so big that one could hardly carry them.

Day after endless day, the young man dipped his pan into the river and came up empty. His only reward was a growing pile of rocks. Discouraged and broke, he was ready to quit until one day an old, experienced prospector said to him, “That’s quite a pile of rocks you are getting there, my boy.”

The young man replied, “There’s no gold here. I’m going back home.”

Walking over to the pile of rocks, the old prospector said, “Oh, there is gold all right. You just have to know where to find it.” He picked two rocks up in his hands and crashed them together. One of the rocks split open, revealing several flecks of gold sparkling in the sunlight.

Noticing a bulging leather pouch fastened to the prospector’s waist, the young man said, “I’m looking for nuggets like the ones in your pouch, not just tiny flecks.”

The old prospector extended his pouch toward the young man, who looked inside, expecting to see several large nuggets. He was stunned to see that the pouch was filled with thousands of flecks of gold.

The old prospector said, “Son, it seems to me you are so busy looking for large nuggets that you’re missing filling your pouch with these precious flecks of gold. The patient accumulation of these little flecks has brought me great wealth.”

This story illustrates the spiritual truth that Alma taught his son Helaman:

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. …

“… And by very small means the Lord … bringeth about the salvation of many souls” (Alma 37:6–7).

I liken this story unto service.  When I was asked to give this talk I sat down and tried to think of the service that I render.  I could not come up with any great big and wonderful acts of service that I have performed and that I could tell you about.  I could only find little flecks of service that I have performed.  But, I am slowly filling up my pouch and by the time my life is through here on the earth I hope to have it bulging.

So, I got to thinking, what are the types of service that you can render.  The first that came to mind is service in your family. I think that when a couple decides to get married that in essence they are agreeing to serve one another and family that they create. In my family, I feel that I do very little for myself throughout the day….but the majority of what I do is to make my family happy and their lives easier. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework…the list goes on and on. I guess being a mom, the number one job qualification is being able and willing to serve.  It goes back to what President Monson said; unless we lose ourselves in the service of others there is little purpose to our own lives.  If I did not serve my family, I can’t even begin to imagine the person that I would be. I remember that when Kendall blessed Dyllon as an infant he blessed him with a life of service.  As soon as he said that in the blessing he started crying.  Service is a lot of work…but it is worth all the time that you put into it. I guess Dyllon was just realizing what he was getting into as his dad blessed him.  One recent service that I am doing for my family is reading the book of Mormon with Madison.  We got an email a few days ago showing what she needed to do to finish up her medallion. One of the last things she needed to do is finish the book of Mormon.  Last Sunday I asked her if she would like to read it with me and finish before Aushlynn gets home from her mission.  She quickly agreed and we found a 90 day reading chart and are currently reading each night. I am not only serving her, but spending quality time with her. I find great joy in serving my family…by serving my family I am putting gold flecks in my pouch every day.

Another type of service that we can render is service in our callings. I have found great joy in the callings that I have had throughout my life.  Today, I would like to share with you some of the blessings that come through our service in the church. Specifically, our church service brings us joy. In my years of church service I have found that my callings have given me new talents. Who knew that I would enjoy being the primary Chorister?  Now when I get the call to substitute I jump at the chance. I enjoy working with the kids and seeing their enthusiasm for singing. Be warry of them though…sometimes they like to sing do as I’m doing and when they do.. they will want to hop on one foot and you can be for certain your knee will get swollen because you sprained it. Serving in callings builds friendships. I have gained numerous friends by serving with others. You can’t help but become friends with those you serve with. That is a gift of service. Service in church blesses us with knowledge. Without my service in the church I would not have the understanding of the cub scout program, I would not know how to lead the music, I would not know how to throw a party for over 400 people, I would not know nearly as many scripture stories or primary songs.  One of the great joys of church service is also missionary service.  I am coming to an end of 5 years of missionary service from my children.  It has been a joy to see them learn and grow through there service as a missionary.  Sometimes I think that all the stuff I messed up as a parent on is fixed thru missionary service. I also find joy in serving the missionaries that serve in our area. The missionaries know that they can call us and we are willing and able to support them in any way that we can.  I have gained life long friends in serving the missionaries in our area.  By serving in my callings and in church I am able to fill my pouch with gold flecks.

The last area that we can serve in is in the community. Serving in the community does not have to take a lot of time. But on the other hand if you are looking for opportunities to serve you can find service projects that could fill emptiness in your life. You could mentor refugee families.  You could serve on a city council. Since I don’t have a lot of time, I look for opportunities that are simple and easy to accomplish.  The other day I was walking in the Walmart parking lot.  I noticed an elderly gentleman struggling to load his groceries in the back of his car. I stopped and asked him if I could help him put his groceries in his car and take his cart into the store.  It turned out that he recently had knee surgery and it was a struggle to walk and stand for him. Loading the groceries was easy for me to do…I am pro…and it was fun to chat with him for a minute and put a smile on his face. It took a minute of my life and it made me feel good.  I was filling my pouch with a fleck of gold.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is simple, no matter how much we try to make it complicated. We should strive to keep our lives similarly simple, unencumbered by extraneous influences, focused on those things that matter most.

What are the precious, simple things of the gospel that bring clarity and purpose to our lives? What are the flecks of gospel gold whose patient accumulation over the course of our lifetime will reward us with the ultimate treasure—the precious gift of eternal life?

It's more than just Honeycomb......

Well...today it happened.....a knock at 7:03 am. I thought it was one of my daycare kids arriving....I opened the door and was greeted with a package. I looked around and saw movement by the window. I ran to the bathroom...opened the window and watched the culprit jump in his car and make his getaway.  He was super stealth and sneaky!

I opened the present and look what I found inside....an invitation to the Valentine's day dance. I have been waiting for someone to ask me...now my favorite person in the whole wide world asked me..

I mean why should we let all the high school kids have all the fun? This has been a tradition for about 7 or 8 years....I did not get asked last year on account they did not have a valentine's dance...bummer....I was super stoked for it this year!

Kendall is such a good sport....I know this is not his favorite thing to do....but he does it because I love it....and he loves to make me happy! Isn't that how you keep a marrige strong? How many of you have been asked to the big dance this year?  Now...how am I going to answer him back??? I'll keep you posted!

and then I totally redeem myself......

I know.....I have been absolutely terrible at posting Aushlynn's letter and pictures.....and then I totally redeem myself by posting one yesterday and today! Go me! I  still need to catch up...I will....don't expect to many miracles at once. In other news....we are down to 91 days...can I get a woot woot!

Here is what the Peruvian princess had to say:

Hey everyone…I am doing great today.  You would never guess this…but it is super-hot here today! Ugh! We got a little bit of rain the first part of the week but now it’s just hot. I promise you people you don’t want to live in a hot climate all the time. I am covered in sweat 85 percent of the day. Air conditioning is not optional here…..but it is almost nonexistent…. Be very grateful for 4 seasons. Because the roads here are not made correctly the water from the rain ruins them.  There are huge holes everywhere.

My mini missionary does not want to leave, but she will be leaving next Monday on transfers.  I also hooked her up with some clothes, she was very thankful.  I brought way too many…but I have been sharing them everywhere I serve. I am not planning on bringing many clothes home, only the things I have bought here…and Mitch Barnes shorts of course…. Today we went and shopped around a bit for pday. We also rode a few amusement rides at the mall. We rode the swings and a ride called the fireball……yes it went in a complete circle…..it was the first time my mini had ridden one….she freaked out…lol.

I have an interview with Presidente on Wednesday.  I am going to hopefully get my transfer information out of him. Haha I am not sure how many Hermana’s are coming in on this transfer, but I think it is four.

Are investigators are doing well. We are still waiting on a marriage…and let’s just say it is complicated. I sent you a video of us singing for a zone conference.  I have the real thing…but it is just too big to send. Zone conferences used to be every 3 months, but it changes to every transfer so I still have 2 of them.

I gotta go, be well be in contact next week. Love you all so much….also tell my brothers and sisters hi for me!

Hermana brown

This is the fireball....it goes in a complete circle....my mini freaked out...lol...it was awkward in a dress!

Me and my mini missionary

Swings...the breeze was heavenly!

Me and Prezzy Razzy at the Puira Vida cup

Elder Hill....she will see him at his homecoming in September. The guy in the back though...haha

Zone conference.....

The Zone

Singing with the Elder's

99 days....well it was a week ago...

Aushlynn hit her 99 days left in the mission......well she did last week. I seriously don't know what is wrong with me and why I have not posted. I have just been super busy and blogger has been being difficult. Here is what she had to say.

Hey everyone!

This week has been super hot and also rainy! On wednesday the people say was the hottest day we have had in awhile here in piura..... awesome! I had a huge headache and now i know why. Despite that we had a awesome week! 

This week we found a man who has a friend in the church, so he already knows a lot about it. We had an awesome lesson with him, and he asked us for a Book of Mormon. So YEAH we brought one to him the next day. And he came to church all 3 hours. Participated in the lessons and all. So awesome. His name is Geraldo, we are super excited about him.

We also found a lady this week named Angela. She had the missionaries about2 years ago. She gained a strong testimony, was going to be baptized, but couldn´t because she isnt married. And the man she lives with was baptized years ago, but doesnt want to return to the church. But we know there is a reason we found her, and we can find a way for them to get married and her to get baptized. We can see her testimony.

We had the soccer tourament again today! I loved seeing all the people from the mission! We didnt win but its whatever! I got to see a lot of my friends including elder hill! That is the last time i will probably see elder hill until his homecoming... weird. 

All is well here in capullanas... as my time is winding down its starting to hit me how much i really do love this place and these people and how much i will miss it! 

Herman brown