Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Not a fan of MRI....

MRI'S are hard. I am definitely not a fan. I have been having numbness in my arms for over five years. Mostly when I lay down or use my hand for long periods of time. My Dr insists that I have carpal tunnel and has had me wearing wrist braces....which have done nothing by the way.....well, when the numbness moved to my left foot it has been driving me crazy. I just cannot live with it anymore. My brother Jeremy keeps telling me....get a MRI....he had some numbness problems that was fix with neck surgery and we seemed to have similar symptoms.  I insisted to my Dr that I get a MRI and he ordered 3 of them on my spine. Yay! Finally gonna get some answers. 

I set up the appointment and learned that I would be in the tube for 3 hours. No problem...right. They asked me if I had claustrophobia (boy was I wrong). I said no...but I told them I do have anxiety.  They suggested I take a Valium and to come 1 hour early to the MRI and they would administer it to me before the procedure.

I show up to the appointment. I arrived an hour and a half early because I was getting somewhat anxious and wanted to give the Valium some time to work. I waited and waited. I asked the receptionist about the Valium and she said someone would get me to administer it. Fast forward an hour and 20 minutes later and someone finally came for me. She was running behind and she gave me the Valium and asked me to chew it so it would work faster. Yuck. Then....she wanted me just to come right back without waiting the hour for the medication to kick in. Ok...this was not good. 

She had me sit on the table and she put a IV in for the contrast. She was ready to go. I was sweating. My heart rate was thru the roof. I had no saliva in my mouth. I could hardly swallow or breathe.  She had me lay down on the table and put earphones on to cancel out the noise....and then she put my head in a vise and strapped a contraption over my neck and locked it down. This was not cool...not cool at all. I was freaking out! This was about 10 minutes after I took the valium. She told me not to worry because she could fit a 300 lb person in the tube and that I was gonna be fine. I was not so sure. I told her she needed to let me out and sit up for a minute because I was not ready. She reluctantly agreed and unstrapped me and let me sit up for a minute. She got me some water and I jumped off the table and walked around for a bit. Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that the music was not working so I did not have anything to listen to that might calm me down. After a few minutes of me freaking out she told me we had to get going because she was running behind. No worries about my problems I guess lets make this all about her. She strapped me down again and slid me in the tub. was tight in there. My shoulders were touching the sides of the tube and my face was about two inches from the top. I was freaking out. I could not move, swallow or hardly breathe. I was crying inside. She started the test. It was noisy even though my sense of hearing had been cut off with the earphones. I got about 2 minutes into the test before I started for reals crying and hyperventilating. There was no way on this earth I was going to last for 3 hours like this....NO WAY! I had to tell her to pull me out. I was not cool....I had gotten an F in MRI! The lady told me I would be an excellent candidate for a sedated MRI. I agreed with her....knock me out for it for sure!

I don't know....maybe if they had given me the valium an hour before the test things would have been different. Maybe if the music had been working it would have relaxed me. Maybe if I had some gum in the mouth it would have not been so dry. Maybe if I only had one test instead of 3 to do. All I know is that this was going to be one of the biggest challenges of my life to do. See the picture can see the vise that they strapped my head in me the heebeejeebees just looking at it!

 I called my Dr and left a message with his assistant. I told them I needed to be sedated for the MRI and to have them call me and set it up. Well....he did not agree with that and wanted me to try again. He wanted me to go to Ogden to a open MRI and try there. It's not exactly close for me to go there. I did some research. Alta hospital has a thirty percent bigger tube then Riverton. They can fit a 400 pound man in theirs. I set up an appointment there and only scheduled one test. Only one hour long. If I did not make it thru this test I would insist on a IV sedation.

I started to practice for a MRI....sounds silly right...but I did. Avery found me a refrigerator box and we made a MRI tube. I would lay in it in the basement with earphones on and a fan blowing in the bottom. I would lay in it for a hour and just cry. I asked Kendall what was wrong with me....he said....well for starters your a laying in a box in the basement.....haha....he is so funny! This is serious. I didn't know what else to do.

 Well, I had really bad anxiety leading up to the test. I had to wait 2 weeks before I could even go and that just gave me a lot to stress to think about every night. I was not sleeping well and the thought of the MRI consumed me. Finally the day arrived. My Dr had told me to not take the valium but to instead take two of my anxiety medications two hours before the test. I did this. I went to my appointment pretty looped up.  The MRI tech was very awesome. I told him I was claustrophobic and that I had anxiety. He set me up to go in feet first and with no head vise. He also set me up with Pandora tunes to listen too. He also said he would wait to give me the IV until the middle of the test and then he would put the contrast in and then take it right back out. He was an angel....maybe it was because I was doped up...but guess what....I did it!

In other news...only 2 MRI's left to go!!! Gonna try to bust them both out on Monday. Wish me luck!

Monday, September 25, 2017's about time!

There are times in my life that I am a pretty big slacker.....Like today......I'm not proud of myself. You see Bingham's Homecoming dance was like 10 tens days ago and I am just now getting around to posting it.  I have been pretty busy lately... doing pretty much nothing because my knee hurts.  You can see why I could not find the time.
Anyways. remember Superman from a few posts back right??? Well, he asked Madi to the homecoming dance. Now, let me see if I can remember how he asked her......Oh yes....I recall now. He put a poster on the door that said "I'd Wheely Like Homecoming With You"! and he left a giant tire with it on the doorstep. In other news that tire is still on the side of the if any of you need a giant, bald tire for any just let me know and I can hook you up! I don't remember how she answered him was weeks ago....but the important part was that she said yes.
Dress shopping was a little easier this time around! Hallelujah! She found a dress that she like at Roolee online. The only problem with the dress is that they did not have her size online but they did have it in the store....of course the store is in Logan Utah, but heck I was going to Preston kayaking I just picked it biggie! I saved hours of my life not looking for a was a win, win for me, Yay!
SO, on the day of homecoming they went on the day date to the Aquarium. I think Madi has been there like 4 times. I have never.....I need to go check it out. I guess they saw some sea creatures....and turtles and stuff. I guess it was pretty fun......she is smiling in the picture.

I all sorts of lucked out when her friend Tallia came and braided her hair for the dance. (Phew, I usually have to attempt the braid about 20 times before I get....its fine....I guess its as good as you can do!)
They went to the Botanical Gardens for pictures.
What a bunch of cuties!
Hot boy right here....see that boutonniere....yeah....I made it!
Here's the whole gang.....
Nice selfie toilet shot!
To save my life, I cannot get this picture to rotate.....Ugh! Just turn your head side ways to look at it.

So the dance was at Bingham. After the dance they went to Simpson's house and watched the movie Split. Everybody had a good time.  Next up Bingham Ball......Stay tuned!

Sunday, September 3, 2017

just a little near death biggie

Yesterday I almost died....and I'm pretty sure that everyone that was with me was laughing. Rude huh. Let me back peddle a little bit and give you the full story.

So...I'll just go on and admit it....I can't swim. My momma is afraid of water so naturally I was not allowed near it. I get it... if you can't save your kid you want to keep that danger away from them. I have tried to learn to swim....I more panic and sink....I am pretty unteachable at this point I'm my 40's.

Now on to my kayaking experience. I tandemed kayaked in Oahu.....on the ocean out to two different  islands. We sailed that baby amazingly and paddled up to the island and road the waves in like pros. I lived and did not crash. I kayaked around a lake...well maybe not all the way around... in northern Idaho at a family reunion.....I lived again and did not wreck. I canoed down the bear river in Idaho with Kendall a few weeks crashes and pretty calm water.  So I guess you can say I'm pretty much a pro when it comes to being a rider and not have to steer the boat.

So yesterday we went kayaking on the bear river. It's 350 miles long and my dad wanted us to experience the whole river. I am pretty sure that we kayaked that many miles yesterday. Let's just say I know I have arms....but I feel that I have arms today...and not in a good arms are like....hey....what did you do to me yesterday!!!

Anyway, Aushlynn and her friend...that's a boy (who rates her in his top 5 bester kissers) took the only tandem know where this leaves me right? All by myself....don't wanna be all by my self....anymore....sing it with me! So Shawn picked me a kayak...a orange sundolphin that you ride on top. No motor just Mindy power. I zipped up my life jacket half way....big mistake.

So they put my boat in the water....backwards.....and I get in. I get the instructions....just paddle up river....turn around and hang out and wait for the whole group to get in the water......right! So the reality was I was floating down the river backwards sidewayish to what I am pretty sure were class 5 rapids. The kayak wobbling back and forth ready to dump me at any moment.  I'll just let you take a minute to picture this. Ok...I said picture not laugh.  Through a miracle I was able to turn around. I don't know how....I just did. It was a Jesus take the wheel moment except I was holding on to my paddle. Now this was not the nice glassy water from a few weeks ago....this was a churning river and I was very much alone....even though Kendall and my dad promised to be right by me....I learned they are liars whilst on the river.

A kayak is so hard to keep straight. I am super inefficient when it comes to paddleing. I could probably take a gold medal for being the worst at it. It is so hard. Everybody made it look so easy but I was crying behind my Denver Broncos sunnies. I somehow managed to make it through the rapids while I was mostly pointed straight. It was 100 percent terrifying and awful...but kinda fun in a delusional twisted sort of way. Not lots of fun...but a terrifying rush. Maybe 2 percent fun 98 percent I'm never doing that again.

Well we get to a calm part of the water....thank the Lord and for some reason my dad wants us to wait for the rest of the group. He's like...kayak over her and hang out and wait for everybody. We all know that I don't kayak the kayaks me.  Easy peasy just turn the boat around and kayak up the river and wait with everybody. I had a bad feeling...I'm not gonna lie...I had a bad feeling the whole time I'd been out there.  I did get turned around but while trying to go up the river with every yelling paddle harder my boat flipped. I learned a few things. My dad lied about the river only being 4 feet deep. The water was over my head. I wished I would have zipped my life jacket up all the way and cinched the suckered tight. Kendall lied about saving me. My kayak was trying to drown me. Avery loves his mom.

So I went over. I drank a few gallons. The kayak was on my head. I have bionic woman strength when drowning and threw the boat 15 feet off me. Avery jumped in to rescue me and my life jacket had to hold us both up. It was fine. Kendall got my boat for me a half mile down the river that is impossible to walk in on the side. Way to many elevation changes.
I was salty Kendall didn't save me and Aushlynn started singing "He Sent His Son".  Avery also saved my floppy hat and water bottle but my Candy Cane Chapstick fell victim to the bear river. I gonna miss that cool slick stick for was a good chapstick.

Everybody thinks it's funny and wishes it was recorded. I do not think it's funny. I also learned that I do not swear right before I'm going to die...this is good.

I was super brave and got back in my boat. I even kayaked down a waterfall. My choices limited me on what I could do. I guess I could have had them send a life flight but I was gonna pull through.

Friday, June 23, 2017

Superman and Bart Simpson

So.....Madi and Sadey have some new friends. They invited Superman...aka...Cam Reeves and Bart Simpson...aka Parker Simpson...Over to watch a scary movie. Ok...first off...who even does that...invites people over to watch scary stuff....don't they know that scares some people. It's not even really the scary stuff that you watch in a movie....during the night you can dream up way scarier stuff than any movie shows....Scary is not my thing! It's just mean of them to do this...what if those boys peed there pants or screamed like little girls? They would have been so embarassed.  Ok....anyway.....Madi told me that they would just be downstairs and to send them down...they didn't want to have to open the that would of been scary! I had my instructions. I meet those boys by the mail box. I said SUP...Superman....I then let them know that those girls were gonna try and scare them with a scary movie. RUDE! I gave them a rubber mouse to use to get even....I am super nice like that....Madi hates mice. She scared of them......all is fair in love.and war right??? Also...we sent Madi a snapchat so she knew they were there.....I thought it was super helpful for she knew to be prepared for them to walk down...right?

So...they watched a movie called "Ouija" I am happy to report to you that Superman does not have know...sweaty hands.....this is good news...two thumbs up.......I have not heard if Bart Simpson does....I will keep you posted if I ever find out...Sadey doesn't tell me nothin! The kids survived the movie with only a few I guess this is good news....I have no idea what they dreamed up last night though...hopefully they all had sweet dreams and no scary nonsense. was time for me to go to bed. I told everyone nighty night.... then received this nice to have two new friends....streak anyone?  I sent them a cool snap did not keep a copy thought.

Madi got a good night hug.....sigh...maybe next time Chicka...

Monday, April 3, 2017

and just like that...done

And just like years of being a missionary momma are coming to an end. I am not gonna lie......when I realized today that I won't have a missionary to write on Sunday I broke down and cried. What??? Seriously I have issues! I know! How did the last five years go by so quickly?
When Dyllon received his mission call and left I thought that my heart would shatter into a million pieces. I was reduced to a puddle of tears just thinking about him being gone. Time slowed down to a meer crawl and every day felt like a week. Some how I survived.
 Then Avery received his mission call and left 6 months before Dyllon returned home. I did not know how my heart could handle two precious sons serving. It was not quite as hard the second time...but it still broke my heart...the recovery was a little easier. Time seemed to resume at a normal pace.
Then Aushlynn received her mission call before Avery came home. Thru some miracle...Avery hurt his elbow again and had to return from his mission a few weeks early. We had 10 days together before Aushlynn left on her mission. the last year and a half has flown by.
When I look back it seemed like it happened in a heartbeat. It seems like five weeks not five years. Oh my heart. I am not sure who I am if I'm not a missionary momma. It's just what I do, or I guess what I did. If you see me and I'm completely irrational please understand...I'm gonna need an adjustment period it seems.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

I'm lying to myself....

I did not sleep well last night....surprise!! Well its not really a surprise it happens quite often to me. When I don't sleep my mind is racing a mile a goes places that I don't want it to go.  In fact I learned that I am lying to myself....I really am freaking out a little. Let me air my momma concerns that are on my mind.

I am stressed out about Peru...seriously someone needs to take the Internet away from me. Have you seen the pictures? 1) It's still raining...the rainy season last for 2 more weeks...does that mean the rain will stop knows when it will stop. 2) Flooding.....the rain water has to go's pooling everywhere. 3) Nasty stuff in the flood waters...sewage.....poisonous reptiles that have been displaced. 4) Mosquitoes.....standing stagnate water...a breeding ground for the little suckers....Zika...Dengue.....5) Disease...none of this is healthy 6) Food and Clean water are hard to find...very expensive...people are going to start suffering. 7) she has a little food and water right long will it last? 8) I worry she will be a target because she has some...desperate people do stupid things. 9) she is going to see suffering...breaks my heart....she will give away what she has and not have her needs can you see suffering and not share what you have? 10) greedy government...the church relief effort brought in food to ease suffering...I have seen pictures of it for sale. The donated supplies are not getting to those who need it because of greed...this make me sad and angry. 11) not knowing...augh!!

My concerns go on and on.....someone please stop me because I am going to have an anxiety attack.

It's going to be fine...she has special protection...the armor of God with her...she is a missionary and wears a special tag bearing his name. She is hope for many people.

33 more days......

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

What a ride

What a ride our Peruvian princess is having out in Peru. Boring..not in the least. One thing for sure is her mission experience has been completely opposite of both of her brothers. Oh the stories and experiences that she will have to tell.

She is currently residing in Angamos...she has served here before. She is with a trio companionship with Hermana Pay and her companion. I am not sure of her name. She has now come full circle. Hermana Pay was her companion in the CCM during her missionary training. Looks like they may finish the mission together.....seems fitting. Aushlynn's cute little companion is headed home. She has been so sick and I guess the flooding is the straw that broke the camels back. I hope that she can heal up at home and come back and finish her mission later. What a trooper she has been.

Aushlynn was given the option of coming home or staying and finishing the last 35 days. She has chosen to stay. Wow....what a true disciple of Christ she has become. I am not sure I would have made the same decision.  She just feels that she needs to be there to help the people of Peru...she still has more to give. She has learned the meaning of Charity and she lives it. I am super proud of her decision and support her 100%. They are currently looking for a mini missionary to serve as her companion.  If and when the waters recede she will head back to not to far away from where she is at.

Good news. They were able to go in yesterday and retrieve their belonging. I am grateful that she will have some clean clothes to wear. I am also grateful that she has her memory cards and mission momentos that she has picked up on her journey. I guess that was what I was most sad about her losing...but it is just stuff and we could have dealt with it...but so happy we don't have to.

People have asked how I'm doing. Well... surprisingly I have been pretty calm. I am generally a person who has anxiety but the Lord has blessed me for sure. Not to say I have not worried about her...but I have just not let it consume me. I's a big surprise. I am coping quite well.

Peru is not out of the woods yet. The water has been receding...but there is more rain in the forcast. Thing could get worse before they get better. There is a shortage of clean water and food throughout the mission. There is still a chance they will pull the missionaries out and put them in different missions...if that is the case I am sure she will be headed home.

She is ready to roll up her sleeves and get dirty. I love her. I miss her. I pray always for her.