It is starting again. The anxiety...the numbness....the sleepless nights. Reality is setting in..... again. I have had such an awesome week. Just being with my family has been amazing. Perfect...no...but amazing nevertheless. I have felt complete. Six days......It seems like such a short amount of time. Six more days.......Time is flying by so fast! Six more days....... How am I ever going to hold it together to say goodbye again for 18 months. I want her to go.......but I am going to miss her....so so so much. Six more days.......Why is this so very hard for me?
In a Conference talk given by Jeffery R. Holland this past October he gave a talk on mothers. This is a quote:
“How is it that a human being can love a child so deeply that you willingly give up a major portion of your freedom for it? How can mortal love be so strong that you voluntarily subject yourself to responsibility, vulnerability, anxiety, and heartache and just keep coming back for more of the same? What kind of mortal love can make you feel, once you have a child, that your life is never, ever your own again? Maternal love has to be divine. There is no other explanation for it. What mothers do is an essential element of Christ’s work. Knowing that should be enough to tell us the impact of such love will range between unbearable and transcendent, over and over again, until with the safety and salvation of the very last child on earth, we can [then] say with Jesus, ‘[Father!] I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do."
Oh my goodness......I feel he was talking directly to me. This is exactly how I feel. I just can't shut these feeling off. My feelings leak right out of my eyes.